Couple days ago, I just had quite touching chat with my sister. At first I complaint about our auntie's comment about our parents. Then she said something that shocked me. All my point of view are changing. I paused. I asked myself and I felt ashamed.
I had a great parents and wonderful family and I can't realize it until now. Yes until now. I wasted all my time and my money. Feel bad about it. But my sister told me to move and not to regret anything since it will be my motivation in future. Nice advice. I really feel bad with my family especially with my dad n my mom.
I know maybe it's too late but it's better than never.
I was so wrong and I want to make it right now.
My life is for my family and loved ones.
"Ninik sayang mama, sayang papa. Sori nek ninik ga isa ngasih apa2 ke papa mama"
Friday, 19 February 2010
Sunday, 31 January 2010
Preparing
Yes, I'm preparing my marriage. Finally. Wakakakakaka. I'm so excited. Over excited.
Salahkah bila diriku terlalu gembira? Ga juga. Tapi kadang kegembiraan itu bisa menjadi senjata makan tuan. Terlalu banyak n terlalu memikirkan persiapan pernikahan like choosing vendors, malah yang paling penting itu jadi ketinggalan.
Yup, my mind set after marriage. Aku kudu memikirkan dan menyiapkan diri menjadi seorang istri, menantu dan ibu yang baik tuk keluarga baru ku. Aku harus belajar lebih terorganisir *maksud e lebih rapi, lebih isa bangun pagi n lebih isa ngatur duit* wakakakaka. Aku juga harus bisa belajar toleransi n "nerimo" Kalo selama ini si yohan yang selalu "nerimo" maybe now it's my turn as his wife. Juga belajar tuk bisa toleransi dengan mertua *nih keknya yang susah*
Begitu banyak pikiran di kepalaku, yang mana hampir saja membuatku tuk "call the wedding off" Yup, it passed my mind before. Aku gak mau pas pacaran manis manis sampe eek pun rasa latte mochachino tapi pas merit itu semua berubah. But I'm so lucky that I have Yohan as my hubby. He can stand by me and I wish I can *have to* stand by him.
Both of us are not perfect, but in our imperfectness there will be a perfect love life. Ameen!!!!
Salahkah bila diriku terlalu gembira? Ga juga. Tapi kadang kegembiraan itu bisa menjadi senjata makan tuan. Terlalu banyak n terlalu memikirkan persiapan pernikahan like choosing vendors, malah yang paling penting itu jadi ketinggalan.
Yup, my mind set after marriage. Aku kudu memikirkan dan menyiapkan diri menjadi seorang istri, menantu dan ibu yang baik tuk keluarga baru ku. Aku harus belajar lebih terorganisir *maksud e lebih rapi, lebih isa bangun pagi n lebih isa ngatur duit* wakakakaka. Aku juga harus bisa belajar toleransi n "nerimo" Kalo selama ini si yohan yang selalu "nerimo" maybe now it's my turn as his wife. Juga belajar tuk bisa toleransi dengan mertua *nih keknya yang susah*
Begitu banyak pikiran di kepalaku, yang mana hampir saja membuatku tuk "call the wedding off" Yup, it passed my mind before. Aku gak mau pas pacaran manis manis sampe eek pun rasa latte mochachino tapi pas merit itu semua berubah. But I'm so lucky that I have Yohan as my hubby. He can stand by me and I wish I can *have to* stand by him.
Both of us are not perfect, but in our imperfectness there will be a perfect love life. Ameen!!!!
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Teaching
Yes, that is my new job. Teaching english for kids. 3 and 4 years old kids. Boys and Girls. Looks like this job is easy *at the first time* but after I dealt it few weeks, I found out that this job is not easy as it looks. Every class is a test for me. The cases are not similar with the previous class. There will be a new challenge, a new case and a new silliness.
Those kids are so funny and they're little devil at the same time. They can eat you alive if you're not prepared yourself. But if you can accomplish your mission and teach them a new thing, you will have this feeling. Proud feeling. I love that feeling. Especially if they're looking for me, holding my hands, hugging me and calling me "Miss Mela"
Thou I feel tired after teaching but their smile really can brighten up my mood once again.
This job is not easy, will never be easy, but I enjoy it. This job needs my creativity and my heart. Yes, my heart. I will need my heart for teaching them since it's not only teaching but also making a new character in those tiny bodies.
"I am special, I am special, God loves me, God loves me. Nobody the same as me, because I'm special, God loves me"
Those kids are so funny and they're little devil at the same time. They can eat you alive if you're not prepared yourself. But if you can accomplish your mission and teach them a new thing, you will have this feeling. Proud feeling. I love that feeling. Especially if they're looking for me, holding my hands, hugging me and calling me "Miss Mela"
Thou I feel tired after teaching but their smile really can brighten up my mood once again.
This job is not easy, will never be easy, but I enjoy it. This job needs my creativity and my heart. Yes, my heart. I will need my heart for teaching them since it's not only teaching but also making a new character in those tiny bodies.
"I am special, I am special, God loves me, God loves me. Nobody the same as me, because I'm special, God loves me"
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
What did I get from Donggala?
2 weeks ago I went to Donggala, a small city in Mid Sulawesi. It's my bf hometown. I stayed there for almost 2 weeks and I got lots of things. They can be some review for my complex life.
But it was not like a common vacation. Even I was in my holiday, but in working days, I helped my bf and his parents at their business shop. It sells anything. Just name it and they will provide it for you. At first, I had objection since I was planning to enjoy my holiday and didn't want to work. But I felt terrible. I learned something. This shop will be mine someday (if I get married with my bf) and I have to know this shop more. Learn about the goods, the warehouses and the systems.
Then I had some a competition with the other daughter-in-laws. She can cook and the taste is quite nice. Also she can clean the house, do the laundry and wash the dishes. What a perfect wife. I lost my self esteem, my confident. I'm afraid that my future parents-in-law will love her more and will compare both of us. That's why I hate her so much.
But one day, something happened. I was in the house with her and my bf's mom. Since I hate of being a bitch, so I started to make a proper conversation with her (most of our previous conversations filled with cynical). Then I realized that she's not that bad. She's nice and she's willing to teach me some recipes (It feels like I got heart attack). Suddenly something crossed my mind. It wasn't her fault that she's better that me in everything. It's my own fault. I'm the one who don't want to learn how to cook, how to clean the house, how to wash the dishes or do the laundry. I have a working woman in my mind set. Fortunately, I still have time to learn those. My goal is being a complete woman. Half working woman and half wife.
Regarding the parents-in-law, I don't care if they don't like me. I'm trying to do my best to be their good daughter-in-law. Not the best or the perfect daughter-in-law. Hopefully they can love as their own daughter.
But it was not like a common vacation. Even I was in my holiday, but in working days, I helped my bf and his parents at their business shop. It sells anything. Just name it and they will provide it for you. At first, I had objection since I was planning to enjoy my holiday and didn't want to work. But I felt terrible. I learned something. This shop will be mine someday (if I get married with my bf) and I have to know this shop more. Learn about the goods, the warehouses and the systems.
Then I had some a competition with the other daughter-in-laws. She can cook and the taste is quite nice. Also she can clean the house, do the laundry and wash the dishes. What a perfect wife. I lost my self esteem, my confident. I'm afraid that my future parents-in-law will love her more and will compare both of us. That's why I hate her so much.
But one day, something happened. I was in the house with her and my bf's mom. Since I hate of being a bitch, so I started to make a proper conversation with her (most of our previous conversations filled with cynical). Then I realized that she's not that bad. She's nice and she's willing to teach me some recipes (It feels like I got heart attack). Suddenly something crossed my mind. It wasn't her fault that she's better that me in everything. It's my own fault. I'm the one who don't want to learn how to cook, how to clean the house, how to wash the dishes or do the laundry. I have a working woman in my mind set. Fortunately, I still have time to learn those. My goal is being a complete woman. Half working woman and half wife.
Regarding the parents-in-law, I don't care if they don't like me. I'm trying to do my best to be their good daughter-in-law. Not the best or the perfect daughter-in-law. Hopefully they can love as their own daughter.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
One step at a time
That's what I need to do these days. One step at a time. There's no need to rush. Just be blessed all the time and keep saying grace. But it's so hard to do you know. So damn hard. It's easy to say.
Well, I really need to gather up and make peace with myself.
Things are getting hard and I have to survive and be tougher.
"Every time you wake up in the morning, say grace since you have one more chance to life"
Well, I really need to gather up and make peace with myself.
Things are getting hard and I have to survive and be tougher.
"Every time you wake up in the morning, say grace since you have one more chance to life"
Thursday, 25 June 2009
25.06.03
"Ko, aku ga mau pacaran jarak jauh, ga isa, ga enak jadi e. Mesti ta lu balek?"
"Lho kita ini sek pacaran ta? Bukan e wes calon suami istri, sek mikir pacaran jarak jauh ta? Aku ini pulang gae lu, nyiapno kabeh gae kita merit. Sek abot ta? Tunggu ya. Jok ninggalno koko, ga isa hidup tanpa lu. Please. Tinggal sitik lagi."
It's been 6 years already for both us. Finally we can get our happiness soon *cross finger*
It's surprised me since I never get along with a guy, a single guy this long, 6 years! Guess he has something inside that makes me fall in love with him.
But it's not easy to have this relationship. So many obstacles and winding roads. Those made we hold hand to be together until now. Been rejected for almost 3 years, lost my faith to him but still he never gives up on me. He keeps holding me tight and loving me that much until both of us can have the blessings.
Now we're preparing a new path for both us. It's not the end of our journey but it's a new one. Our relationship is entering new level with new obstacles and winding roads. If both of us can handle those, then we surely can handle these ones.
Just want to say "Happy 6th Anniversary"
Maybe you're not with me to celebrate this but I'm sure that you will beside me when we're celebrating our 10th and 25th wedding anniversary *ide dari Cen2*
One more year and then we can be together forever. It's like a dream come true for me, ko. Thank you for making it happen. Love you always.
"Sori nek misale Bing suka marah, tapi lu sayang soale Bing marah2 toh. Hehehe"
"Lho kita ini sek pacaran ta? Bukan e wes calon suami istri, sek mikir pacaran jarak jauh ta? Aku ini pulang gae lu, nyiapno kabeh gae kita merit. Sek abot ta? Tunggu ya. Jok ninggalno koko, ga isa hidup tanpa lu. Please. Tinggal sitik lagi."
It's been 6 years already for both us. Finally we can get our happiness soon *cross finger*
It's surprised me since I never get along with a guy, a single guy this long, 6 years! Guess he has something inside that makes me fall in love with him.
But it's not easy to have this relationship. So many obstacles and winding roads. Those made we hold hand to be together until now. Been rejected for almost 3 years, lost my faith to him but still he never gives up on me. He keeps holding me tight and loving me that much until both of us can have the blessings.
Now we're preparing a new path for both us. It's not the end of our journey but it's a new one. Our relationship is entering new level with new obstacles and winding roads. If both of us can handle those, then we surely can handle these ones.
Just want to say "Happy 6th Anniversary"
Maybe you're not with me to celebrate this but I'm sure that you will beside me when we're celebrating our 10th and 25th wedding anniversary *ide dari Cen2*
One more year and then we can be together forever. It's like a dream come true for me, ko. Thank you for making it happen. Love you always.
"Sori nek misale Bing suka marah, tapi lu sayang soale Bing marah2 toh. Hehehe"
Friday, 12 June 2009
Generals
Lots of stories that I like to share here. Eng ..... which one ya? How about I'll tell you one by one, based on my memories (wkwkwkwkwk).
Last night, I was invited by Yohan's dad for having a last dinner since he's going to fly to Donggala this morning with Yohan's granny. I felt sungkan *sorry since I don't know the English for sungkan* hahahaha. But Yohan insisted me to go, so I filled the invitation and brought something for Yohan's mom *nge-suek nie*.
We had dinner in XO suki with my future dad-in-law's relatives *mumet ah*, Yohan's uncles and aunties. I was sitting next Yohan's granny. "Mati kon" that the first words across my mind. Since I'm not that kind of girl, seng bisa manis2 mulut n manis2 tingkahe. But I do respect older people, since my parent taught me that. Cuman ga tau mau ngomong apa sama Amak, since dari language juga agak2 ga nyambung *u know the accents*. But I DO behave. Ngambilin makanan buat mak, ngambilin mie dari hot pot *I'm sooooo lucky, soale biasa e susah amir ngambil mie di XO suki nek pake cedok, tapi kemaren bisa* Juga nanya2in Amak, mau nambah lagi ga. Hehehehehe overall lumayan lah, maybe next time aku bisa lebih akrab ma Amak. Gimana2 bakal jadi Amak ku juga kan.
Btw dapet bocoran, kalo aku dibilang lebih supel n lebih suka ngomong *positif ga sih* Ambil hikmah nya aja, at least keluarga besar e Yohan welcomes me to the family *yeah*.
This morning, I had a heavy conversation with my mom. It's quite rare since I never share anything with my mom, only share funny things not heavy ones. I told her that I'm going to resign this July and she's fine with it *fyi, mama ku ga suka liat anak2 e nganggur di rumah*. I also told her that I'm going to learn about my mom's job at her family since Yohan has a plan for our future. She said OK, and she'll support me, she's also going to tell her sist to help me and guide me while I'm Jakarta. Yup, I'm going to Jakarta learning my mom's bussiness. Yihaaaaaa.
It's going to be a tough fight in a hard way, but I will try, I want to learn, at least I don't want just sit waiting for someone offers me something. But I have to chase, I have to grab the opportunities that I still have in my life.
So ..... let's fighting.
THIS IS MY LIFE ........
(that's all that I wanted to share with you guys)
Last night, I was invited by Yohan's dad for having a last dinner since he's going to fly to Donggala this morning with Yohan's granny. I felt sungkan *sorry since I don't know the English for sungkan* hahahaha. But Yohan insisted me to go, so I filled the invitation and brought something for Yohan's mom *nge-suek nie*.
We had dinner in XO suki with my future dad-in-law's relatives *mumet ah*, Yohan's uncles and aunties. I was sitting next Yohan's granny. "Mati kon" that the first words across my mind. Since I'm not that kind of girl, seng bisa manis2 mulut n manis2 tingkahe. But I do respect older people, since my parent taught me that. Cuman ga tau mau ngomong apa sama Amak, since dari language juga agak2 ga nyambung *u know the accents*. But I DO behave. Ngambilin makanan buat mak, ngambilin mie dari hot pot *I'm sooooo lucky, soale biasa e susah amir ngambil mie di XO suki nek pake cedok, tapi kemaren bisa* Juga nanya2in Amak, mau nambah lagi ga. Hehehehehe overall lumayan lah, maybe next time aku bisa lebih akrab ma Amak. Gimana2 bakal jadi Amak ku juga kan.
Btw dapet bocoran, kalo aku dibilang lebih supel n lebih suka ngomong *positif ga sih* Ambil hikmah nya aja, at least keluarga besar e Yohan welcomes me to the family *yeah*.
This morning, I had a heavy conversation with my mom. It's quite rare since I never share anything with my mom, only share funny things not heavy ones. I told her that I'm going to resign this July and she's fine with it *fyi, mama ku ga suka liat anak2 e nganggur di rumah*. I also told her that I'm going to learn about my mom's job at her family since Yohan has a plan for our future. She said OK, and she'll support me, she's also going to tell her sist to help me and guide me while I'm Jakarta. Yup, I'm going to Jakarta learning my mom's bussiness. Yihaaaaaa.
It's going to be a tough fight in a hard way, but I will try, I want to learn, at least I don't want just sit waiting for someone offers me something. But I have to chase, I have to grab the opportunities that I still have in my life.
So ..... let's fighting.
THIS IS MY LIFE ........
(that's all that I wanted to share with you guys)
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