25.06.03

"Ko, aku ga mau pacaran jarak jauh, ga isa, ga enak jadi e. Mesti ta lu balek?"
"Lho kita ini sek pacaran ta? Bukan e wes calon suami istri, sek mikir pacaran jarak jauh ta? Aku ini pulang gae lu, nyiapno kabeh gae kita merit. Sek abot ta? Tunggu ya. Jok ninggalno koko, ga isa hidup tanpa lu. Please. Tinggal sitik lagi."

It's been 6 years already for both us. Finally we can get our happiness soon *cross finger*

It's surprised me since I never get along with a guy, a single guy this long, 6 years! Guess he has something inside that makes me fall in love with him.

But it's not easy to have this relationship. So many obstacles and winding roads. Those made we hold hand to be together until now. Been rejected for almost 3 years, lost my faith to him but still he never gives up on me. He keeps holding me tight and loving me that much until both of us can have the blessings.

Now we're preparing a new path for both us. It's not the end of our journey but it's a new one. Our relationship is entering new level with new obstacles and winding roads. If both of us can handle those, then we surely can handle these ones.

Just want to say "Happy 6th Anniversary"
Maybe you're not with me to celebrate this but I'm sure that you will beside me when we're celebrating our 10th and 25th wedding anniversary *ide dari Cen2*

One more year and then we can be together forever. It's like a dream come true for me, ko. Thank you for making it happen. Love you always.

"Sori nek misale Bing suka marah, tapi lu sayang soale Bing marah2 toh. Hehehe"

Generals

Lots of stories that I like to share here. Eng ..... which one ya? How about I'll tell you one by one, based on my memories (wkwkwkwkwk).

Last night, I was invited by Yohan's dad for having a last dinner since he's going to fly to Donggala this morning with Yohan's granny. I felt sungkan *sorry since I don't know the English for sungkan* hahahaha. But Yohan insisted me to go, so I filled the invitation and brought something for Yohan's mom *nge-suek nie*.

We had dinner in XO suki with my future dad-in-law's relatives *mumet ah*, Yohan's uncles and aunties. I was sitting next Yohan's granny. "Mati kon" that the first words across my mind. Since I'm not that kind of girl, seng bisa manis2 mulut n manis2 tingkahe. But I do respect older people, since my parent taught me that. Cuman ga tau mau ngomong apa sama Amak, since dari language juga agak2 ga nyambung *u know the accents*. But I DO behave. Ngambilin makanan buat mak, ngambilin mie dari hot pot *I'm sooooo lucky, soale biasa e susah amir ngambil mie di XO suki nek pake cedok, tapi kemaren bisa* Juga nanya2in Amak, mau nambah lagi ga. Hehehehehe overall lumayan lah, maybe next time aku bisa lebih akrab ma Amak. Gimana2 bakal jadi Amak ku juga kan.

Btw dapet bocoran, kalo aku dibilang lebih supel n lebih suka ngomong *positif ga sih* Ambil hikmah nya aja, at least keluarga besar e Yohan welcomes me to the family *yeah*.

This morning, I had a heavy conversation with my mom. It's quite rare since I never share anything with my mom, only share funny things not heavy ones. I told her that I'm going to resign this July and she's fine with it *fyi, mama ku ga suka liat anak2 e nganggur di rumah*. I also told her that I'm going to learn about my mom's job at her family since Yohan has a plan for our future. She said OK, and she'll support me, she's also going to tell her sist to help me and guide me while I'm Jakarta. Yup, I'm going to Jakarta learning my mom's bussiness. Yihaaaaaa.

It's going to be a tough fight in a hard way, but I will try, I want to learn, at least I don't want just sit waiting for someone offers me something. But I have to chase, I have to grab the opportunities that I still have in my life.

So ..... let's fighting.

THIS IS MY LIFE ........

(that's all that I wanted to share with you guys)

10th July 2009

Finally, I can get my freedom. I never feel this relieved. Oh ......

On that day, I'll be walked out from this office, from "hell" of mine. My feelings are mixed. I'm happy yet confused for looking a new job, but for now I'm very glad.

During the resign process, there are lots of things happened. My feelings to my sister is getting stronger, our bond is getting solid more than ever. My faith is being renewed itself. I'm getting wiser and more patience in dealing things. Important is I know my self better, who I am at this point, at this moment.

I think I learned my lesson, changed my point of view.

Regarding the job, once again, it's not the job that I hate, but the management and stuffs. Overall, I quite enjoy the job and I have lots of experiences. Knowing lots of people from different countries, learning their cultures and having their friendships. Hopefully, we can still be friends.

I'm gambling, but there's always a risk I have to take. There's always a consequence from a decision I made. But it's life and I have to live with it.

So ..... fighting ...... a more giant step to go .... jia you ...

NB : thanks to all you, who keep me supported. Without you all, I'm nothing. Love you, thank you for being my friends and being there when I need you.

God bless

The Main Reason

I'm exhausted and depressed these couple months. I already made decision that I resign from my current job.

It's not the job that I hate, but the company, the people, the management and the owner himself.

Since I have a contract with the company and they hold my certificate, so I need to play with their rules. Also I have in mind, I need to resign nicely.

On my contract, I need to find substitute or replacement for my position in this company. The substitutes have to be fitted with company's description or I can say my boss' description. One month after that I can leave the company with my certificate in hand. That's what stated in the contract.

The reality is suck. Him too. Realized it long time ago, but still .... stupid me. I guess what my friend told me is right, I'm sooooooooo easy to be abused.

I put the advertisement for looking employees, but he rejected all. He said he needs a person with 3 years experiences, graduated from engineering college and he needs a SHE. Yes, he needs women. It's gonna be hard to find. DAMN!!!!

Sometimes I wanna kill him with my own hand.

He's like a devil for me. It's the main reason I quit the job, he's not a good influence for me and my life.

I really need a miracle. HUGE miracles.