My last birthday as a single

Yup, kemaren tanggal 31 Agustus 2010 adalah ulang tahun saya terakhir sebagai lajang. Hahahaha. Agak aneh emang ngomongnya but it is the truth karena tahun depan ulang tahunnya ga sendiri lagi. Yay.

Pertama kali berpikiran kalau tahun ini ulang tahunnya ga bakal seru secara meme sudah tidak di Indo n yohan lagi merantau. Hiks, agak males mau ngerayain. Ternyata pas tengah malam, banyak sekali yang kasih ucapan selamat, sampe blackberry harus disilent tuk ga ganggu beauty sleep ku. Wakakakaka.

Biasanya kalo ultah, selalu ada kejutan dari meme. Setiap kali habis mandi, dikamar selalu ada bday gift. But not this time. So agak kehilangan. Darn I miss my sista. Plan mau bangun pagi ternyata ga bisa :p hehehehe, so like always mama harus bangunin. Tapi kali ini banguninnya laen, nadanya laen. Mungkin aku lagi ultah so nada e merdu. Wakakakakaka.

Dibawah sudah menunggu misoa plus telur utuh yang harus dimakan habis. Ohhhhhhh senangnya kalo ultah, selalu merasa istimewa. Pas dikerjaan like always, bosan setengah mati karna ga ada kerjaan. Tapi yang istimewa, mau lunch bareng temen2 di bakso Gun. Setahun yang lalu, traktirannya juga di bakso Gun, cuman orang banyak. Tahun ini cuman bertiga, emang lebih sedikit tapi ga bokek. Wakakakakaka.

Habis perut kenyang, balik ke sekolah, n maen capsa banting sambil nyanyi pake gitar. Wahhhh seru, masio jauh dari meriah tapi kesannya lain.

Also ultah taon ini beda krn ada temen edun nelpon pas aq dah mimpi indah cmn tuk ngucapin happy bday. Terharu sih terharu tapi akunya jadi ga isa tidur sampai dini hari. Ya it's ok lah, kapan lagi dia bisa ganggu kek kemaren. Tapi ya jok sering2!

Ultah tahun ini juga semakin membuka mata saya kalau keluarga emang paling seru! Paling sayang n selalu bisa diandalkan. Hiks, apa karna habis ini mau nikah ya jadinya bawaannya mellow. But overall I do love my family and I'm so proud having them as a part of my life!

Gonna miss you Pa, Ma

A problem's solved, a new one strikes!

These past weeks have been my toughest weeks ever in preparing my marriage. Lots of stressful things happened. I'm so exhausted, physically and mentally. One problem is solved, another is coming, it's like a satanic circle. Keep round and round and round. Like there's no end.

After I finished with church thing, then I have to deal with legal stuff. Another crazy thoughts and another fight. Yet we can solved this, once again. But another is already on the waiting list.

This preparing is supposed to be fun, happy and lots of excitements. I do, really! I'm so exciting when we're shopping for our room, our bathroom, our wardrobe. Buying this, buying those. I was tired *physically* but yet I enjoyed it.

Entering to technical stuff like church, legal stuff, hotel etc, they are like nightmares to me. I'm panicked all the time.

But I always keep my sister's line in mind, she said "This is your wedding, your dream comes true, so enjoy it. Just sit back and make it fun. Enjoy while you still can since it's not coming twice"

Yup, this is my marriage, my dream comes true, I've been waiting for this long time ago, so I won't make any stupid things let this marriage down. Never!!!

This is only the beginning of our new level, it's like our pre-trial. We're going to prove that we can handle these all. Because I have one great Lord at my side and hubby-to-be at the other side.

So problems, BRING IT ON!!!!!

Another fight, another negotiation

It's getting closer to our wedding and lots of tension for both us. We had another fight and now it's about pre-marital test. I thought that it's important for both of us, but he had different perspective about it.

Once again I let my ego and my emotion dealt with it instead of having discussion with open mind about that test. Luckily I have a great hubby-to-be, he really understand me so well. But he taught me something, he said to me that if we are having disagreement of something, we have to discuss with no emotion and not involving any egos.

I don't know whether this marriage effects me or this is a real me?

I'm so scared.

12 June 2010

That was my last date seeing those kids. That was the date of my last job as a teacher. Sad because I'm going to miss those moments. Moments with those kids. It almost 1 year in teaching them. Never know that this job will make me feeling like this. Wish I can be a teacher in my earlier time. But it's ok. It's enough for me since I had a chance for knowing them, for teaching them and for being someone in their life.

Thank you for everything kids, thank you for making my life brighter.

Wish you all will always remember me as your teacher.

Hugs.

Shocking Therapy

Couple days ago, I just had quite touching chat with my sister. At first I complaint about our auntie's comment about our parents. Then she said something that shocked me. All my point of view are changing. I paused. I asked myself and I felt ashamed.

I had a great parents and wonderful family and I can't realize it until now. Yes until now. I wasted all my time and my money. Feel bad about it. But my sister told me to move and not to regret anything since it will be my motivation in future. Nice advice. I really feel bad with my family especially with my dad n my mom.

I know maybe it's too late but it's better than never.

I was so wrong and I want to make it right now.

My life is for my family and loved ones.

"Ninik sayang mama, sayang papa. Sori nek ninik ga isa ngasih apa2 ke papa mama"

Preparing

Yes, I'm preparing my marriage. Finally. Wakakakakaka. I'm so excited. Over excited.

Salahkah bila diriku terlalu gembira? Ga juga. Tapi kadang kegembiraan itu bisa menjadi senjata makan tuan. Terlalu banyak n terlalu memikirkan persiapan pernikahan like choosing vendors, malah yang paling penting itu jadi ketinggalan.

Yup, my mind set after marriage. Aku kudu memikirkan dan menyiapkan diri menjadi seorang istri, menantu dan ibu yang baik tuk keluarga baru ku. Aku harus belajar lebih terorganisir *maksud e lebih rapi, lebih isa bangun pagi n lebih isa ngatur duit* wakakakaka. Aku juga harus bisa belajar toleransi n "nerimo" Kalo selama ini si yohan yang selalu "nerimo" maybe now it's my turn as his wife. Juga belajar tuk bisa toleransi dengan mertua *nih keknya yang susah*

Begitu banyak pikiran di kepalaku, yang mana hampir saja membuatku tuk "call the wedding off" Yup, it passed my mind before. Aku gak mau pas pacaran manis manis sampe eek pun rasa latte mochachino tapi pas merit itu semua berubah. But I'm so lucky that I have Yohan as my hubby. He can stand by me and I wish I can *have to* stand by him.

Both of us are not perfect, but in our imperfectness there will be a perfect love life. Ameen!!!!